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Chapter Eleven: Relentless Guilt
I open my eyes and stare at the oscillating fan next to the bed. Even with the fan pointed straight at me, I’m still sweating and I quickly understand why. Adam’s chest is pressed against my back and I’m wearing nothing but a bra and panties. I have a vague memory of tearing off my tank top and shorts, but I can’t remember much else.
His arm is wrapped around my waist and his breath is hot against the back of my head. Our bodies are sticky everywhere we’re touching. It’s unbearably hot and humid in here. On the bright side, he’s not suffering from morning wood syndrome.
I need to get out of here. I have a bad feeling we had forgettable sex and I don’t want to admit that I can’t remember it. I slowly attempt to scoot forward to peel my back off his chest and he grunts as he tightens his arm around my waist.
“Go back to sleep,” he groans, and now that I know he’s awake I let out the breath I’ve been holding.
“What time is it? I work at three.”
“It’s still morning. Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t. It’s too hot in here.”
“Then take these off,” he says, as he hooks his thumb into the waistband of my panties. “I’d be happy to help you with that.”
I roll over to face him. “Hey, Smokey the Bear.” He looks so sexy when he’s groggy. “You think you’re so hot, but I don’t even remember what happened last night so it can’t be that good.”
He laughs in my face and I can still smell a little bit of smoke on his breath. “That’s because nothing happened last night.”
“You walked into my room, stripped down to your underwear, made some comment about this being the most comfortable bed in the universe, and knocked out.”
“Oh…. Somehow, I find that a little disappointing.”
“You’re disappointed that we didn’t have forgettable sex? Or you’re disappointed we didn’t have sex?”
The truth is, I’m a little disappointed we haven’t gotten the whole first time thing out of the way. It’s too much pressure. I haven’t been with anyone other than Chris and, like Senia said last night, he spoiled me. He waited over two years before we had sex on my eighteenth birthday. I’ve only known Adam two weeks, but this need to get the sex over with tells me that we should probably wait.
“I guess I’m disappointed we didn’t have sex,” I reply, because I know that’s what he wants to hear.
“You guess you’re disappointed?” He brushes a lock of hair out of my face and lifts my chin so he can look me in the eye. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”
“What? No!” I don’t know why I’m so adamant with my response. “I am not a virgin.” Though, part of me wishes I were.
He smiles as he slips his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. I swallow hard as his erection jabs my thigh through his boxers.
He leans in to kiss me and, as soon as his lips touch mine, my body relaxes into him. I slide my arms around his neck as he rolls me onto my back. He pushes my legs open with his knee as his hand glides up my side. His tongue flirts with mine and my nipples perk up beneath the fabric of my bra. He grinds against me as his hand cups my breast and I know this is it. We’re going to have sex.